Yellow moon on the rise,
Big birds flying across the sky,Throwing shadows on our eyes.Leave us (N. Young)i wasn't ready for the anxiety this time.......a feeling of sorrow and a gut punch of being homesick .
This week for the first time...i will observe a September 11th anniversary outside my safe space in the garden State....i will not get to sit outside my garage on Edgewood with a fire on the evening of the 10th.....and listen to the spirits rustling through the trees as they arrive......I will not get to raise a glass at Donnavans Reef or walk the seawall in Seabright or the boardwalk in Asbury Park or Spring Lake........i won't be at Off the Hook to see the Twin Lights of remembrance or Martells Tiki Bar ....I won't even have a somber afternoon beer in Brannigans with the rest of the lost souls band...
Honestly....i don't have a plan.....i'm lost, slightly.....i will find the ocean, and i will stare at it most of the day...i just hope the ghosts can find me......i will listen to my tunes......but it will hurt to NOT be in the Metropolitan area this year......i deliberately pushed my trip north back 2 weeks because i was afraid of emotional overload....i didn't want to retire to close to the 11th ....a wise move.......but today....i wish i was there......i don't know what to expect down here in the south.....so far away from new york city......both a blessing and a curse.
Helpless, helpless, helplessBaby can you hear me now?The chains are locked and tied across the door,Baby, sing with me somehow.
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