Friday, June 19, 2020

when the rain is blowing in your face

And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love  ( Dylan) ^ I oft times live in the past and reflect on significant dates, events, months etc from a prior time.....I daydream and mentally travel back in time and can clearly recall what I was doing, what I was feeling , even what I was drinking 5, 10, 50 years ago......it's a blessing and sometimes a curse. ^ this being June, I tend to recall the most dramatic 2 junes of my life.....1985 and June Carter Cash.....no, not the 2nd one.....we'll get to that. ^ each morning at Boot Camp we were roused out of bed at 5:30 and had about 90 seconds to be fully dressed in the uniform of the day and get out on the grinder in formation (the Grinder.. that's where we marched, and marched and marched). And each morning while we were forced to stand at attention without flinching for a few minutes, we would stare straight ahead into the abyss....or in this case at a row of bushes before a chain link fence and a dirt embankment that rose about 5 feet high and there sat the "railroad tracks"...……...and every fucking morning  we stood there , a prisoner of Uncle Sam, stripped of our liberty, unable to make even the simplest of choices ( like when and what to eat or when to go to bed or get up) a programmed robot.....molded and brainwashed....but the one thing they couldn't take away was our ability to think...…..i don't know what my fellow meatheads were thinking as you wouldn't dare speak or confide with anyone.....but i remember every morning approx. 5:37 or 5:38 the Roar from the North...…..the ground would shake...….and a silver bullet train would fly by on those tracks......and i knew where that train was headed. ^ for 10 or 15 seconds as that train roared by it became to loud to hear the drill inspector barking commands so even they would take a respite from their never ending spew...….and i would do the math in my head ….( ive been here 8 days....i have to be here 56....so i have 48 to go etc etc) and I would tell myself that I would survive....i would get by.....and when i did ?  I would be on the motherfucking train for CHICAGO...…..and the beer would be cold and flowing...….and the closer i got to the end.....the wider my grin....and that warm embrace that Dylan sings of ? i could feel it engulfing me. ^ it matters of course what's happening in the world today....the hopelessness and despair that is being spewed at us on a daily basis...like a drill instructor reminding you that are pathetic and a prisoner....but as Dylan also said.....let me forget about today until tomorrow...…….me ? i'm not burrying my head in the sand.....I do watch the news and read the paper and worry about my white male nephews and great nephews and their children....and all of my friends and their children and grandchildren...some serious shit out there......BUT.....i also wait for that train.....usually now around 2:15 (thanks to work from home)….and that Roar is usually the Grateful Dead or Mr Dylan on the Stereo.....and i have that cold refreshing glass of beer in my hand.....and i sit in the yard and i dream.....and for a few seconds i can't even hear the work computer chiming or beeping or whatever the fuckin noise it makes...….i live for those 10 or 15 seconds...……..we'll talk about that other June tomorrow. ^ The storms are raging on the rollin’ sea
And on the highway of regret

The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet


No comments: