hold the phone

the late great Miss Harris is about to call a press conference:

Good evening. I'm going to read a brief statement, but please understand, on the advice of our legal counsel, I won't be answering any questions this evening.

First of all, I'd like to thank all of the independently elected supervisors of elections, their staffs, their volunteers for the extraordinary work they performed over the past seven days. And they've just been terrific.

And I'd also like to acknowledge the overwhelming support that we have received as we've worked to fulfill our statutory responsibilities in ensuring a consistent, accurate and independent process.

As of 5 p.m. today, the director of the Division of Elections reported receiving certified returns from all 67 counties, as required by law. In the race for the president of the United States, or more precisely the 2008 primary.. these certified results from Florida's 67 counties for the top candidates are as follows: Sen Mccain, 2,910,492
Osama Obama Clinton Kennedy 2,910,192.
El Gato 1

drinks will be served in the lobby immediately.

Score 1 for the cat

A vote….a vote…..EL GATO has received his first vote……quando, quando , quando…….yesterday in the sunshine state of F L A ….
No it was not Louie Lopez "the best jockey to come out of east la" nor was it part of the growing USS Luce Alumni….Pride, Power , Knowledge….
It turns out it was our pal and restaurateur Robert "Whitey" Cahill, who now resides in plantation…..not on a plantation. The great White Owl took an extended break from Smith and Wolly's , thumbed a ride to the polling station, borrowed a crayon from the local magistrate, and wrote in "EL Gato" as his official vote in the primary …I am sure that if Katherine Harris gets wind of this she will challenge this vote all the way to the Supreme Court…….someone the white owl will be accused of hanging a chad or being ineligible to vote.

SKYLAB is Falling....again

Have no worries , have no fears……..Johnny News has assured us that the Knights of Columbus is preparing a contingency plan should Skylab reenter the earths atmosphere on the morning of Febrewary 29th , and threaten a touchdown in the 209 vicinity during our festivities. Specially equipped goaltender masks , with extra padding, will be issued to all skaters……..a three day supply of beer and peanuts will be on hand , should the big space station land on 5th avenue and leave us all stranded in downtown Birmingham.

gone but not forgotten

Rest in Peace ol BARBARO.......our loss is Chrurhill Downs' gain....God Bless.

30 days

just 30 days until the tenth, and FINAL, installment of Sweater Night......lace up, gear up, DRINK up !

Teddy Backs obama

well thank the lord for small favors......Ted Kennedy has thrown his weight behind Osama Obama, looks like our campaign is in the clear.....we may skip the proceedings down in the susnshine state....kick back and watch the Super Bowl and then get ready for the Garden State Primary....if i don't get at least three votes in my adopted home state , then I may be forced to rethink this unlikely run at the oval office.....I know Valerie and Graves will vote for me, but I may have lost a few backers during this past week.....and I am still undecided myself as to who I am voting for......I kind of like this irish guy Mccain.....i heard good things about him in the Ria Ra and the Trinity Carvery.....not to mention the dub.

Dropping Out ?

no worries....it wasn't me, it was Fred Thompson......the dream continues, onward and upward less than two weeks to the NJ primary.....must finalize a theme song for this campaign......you can only play charades for so long.

imitation is the highest form of flattery

912 hours until sweater nite ten.......what about arthurs?

so few can exercise this

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. .....
Dorothy Nevill

Campaign Song II

as we make that long slow drive from Michigan to South Carolina we ponder another possible theme song for our campaig....this one complements of Roger Mcguinn and the Byrds:

I wanna grow up to be a politician
and take over this beautiful land
I wanna grow up to be a politician
and be the old USofA's number one man
I'll always be tough, I'll never be scary
I want to shoot guns or butter my bread
I'll work on the towns or conservate the prairies
And you can believe the future's ahead
I'll give the young the right to vote
as soon as they mature
But spare the rod and spoil the child
to help them feel secure
And if I win election day
I'll sign the bill to help the poor
to show I'm not snob
I'll open my door, I'm chargin' no admission
And you can be sure I'll give you my hand
I'll be glad you got me in everything I do
and I'll defend until the end
the old red, white and blue

The Sweater Night Zone

Charles Higgins and Craig Pazarecki.......two ordinary hard working blue line skaters, about to be transformed into wolrd known figures via a forgotten portal in the universe known as cardboard. Their places in Sweater Nite lore reserved for them for all eternity, take a look at the sign post up ahead, you are entering the Neutral Zone.

Play Date

Two words he says……two words can some up what's wrong with the NHL today……"Play Dates" That is what my head linesman tells me this morning.........the current NHL player must have had play dates , organized by his parents, when he was a kid.....siphoned the toughness right out of his bones he sez........he'd rather watch paint dry in the OLA cafeteria he sez.......lackluster league....no hitting, no fighting, no intensity.....every gets a check and everyone has a play date.......damn shame........maybe he's not that far off.

Hail to the Victors

No friends we did not steal the Michigan Primary like a Lincoln Continental off a Detroit street, but we do still claim moral victory from the Wolverines. Our first endorsement came from an unlikely source, the great Leslie Lynch King, Jr. came to me in a microdot haze and gave me the thumbs up.......sadly the man who would become President of the United States under his adopted name of Gerald R Ford had already passed on, the day after Christmas 2006; and could no longer cast an actual vote in the primary, damn voting restrictions.....what next, are we going to take away the right to vote from convicted felons or the youth of America......what then.....will we try to stop illegal immigrants from casting their votes....or worse...IDIOTS ?

Well that's where I draw the line, some of my best friends and biggest supporters are IDIOTS, bonifide , tried, true and tested IDIOTS. Why I would go so far as to say that if idiots , felons , minors and illegals are blocked from the Polling booths, then my chances of winning the nomination are narrowing. I may have to lead a March on Selma or some other unsuspecting female to demand restitutions.

Anyway it turns out that Leslie Lynch King not only endorsed my run at the presidency , but he delivered a message from my estranged running mate, "The Ghost of Barbaro" it follows

" you can never bet too much on a winning Horse"

effin genius that horse , this can mean only one of two things....it is time for a trip to the simulcast section of Monmouth Park OR old Edgar Prado went to the whip once to often and it is finally taking its' toll on our pal.....time will tell, time will tell.

Anyway we closed the town of Flynt last night, drinking Ripple until cows came home ...or in this case until the riot Police came down main street at 3:00 a.m with water cannons. And now it's on to South Carolina and the Rebel State Flag....finances are dwindling though......if only "WE" Knew someome in ...oh I don't know....CHARLESTON maybe.......somewhere we could crash on the cheap for a few days......now that we have Gerry Ford in our collective back pockets , let's see if we can't dig up some support from ol Strom.

Dearborn.....dear God

AP wire 03:57 a.m. MTZ :

Team Snafu strikes again....in what at best could be described as a "Risky" approach, the Gato 4 El presidente campaign suffered another setback. Having wasted valuable Michigan canvas time while still drinking in New hampshire, El gato decided to make a splash onto the scene this Primary Morning. The Team Gato Bus rolled into Sleepy Dearborn Michigan about 1 hour ago ( 3:05 AM )....the plan was to shake these folks out of their beds with the New Campaign theme blasting.....a shock that would last all day and until they went to the polls with "ELECTED" Blarring in their inner skulls.......but lo, to err is human, and instead of track 4 from billion dollar babies, the town of Dearborn awoke to "No More MR Nice Guy". Some of these hicks thought it was an Al Queda attack or worse, TOYOTA coming. Time will tell how this this will impact voters later today.

Campaign Theme Song

I think I need to jazz my presidential campaign up a wee bit with a theme song....if those snake oil salemen the Clintons won an election with those has been Fleetwood MAC cronies and don't stop drinking until tomorrow, maybe I will have a spurt in the polls with a Rock and Roll Infusion.......I list the possibilities and ...this being a democracy and all....I will let me loyal readers make the choice......First up Alice Cooper: if you can't recall the singer, can you at least recall the tune....this gem was off of "Billion dollar babies"

I'm your top prime cut of meat, I'm your choice
I wanna be elected
I'm your yankee doodle dandy in a gold Rolls Royce
I wanna be elected
Kids want a savior, don't need a fake
I wanna be elected
We're gonna rock to the rules that I make
I wanna be elected, elected, elected
I never lied to you, I've always been cool
I wanna be elected
I gotta get the vote, and I told you about school
I wanna be elected, elected, elected
Hallelujah, I wanna be elected
Everyone in the United States of America
We're gonna win this one, take the country by storm
We're gonna be elected
You and me together, young and strong
We're gonna be elected, elected, elected
Respected, selected, call collected
I wanna be elected, elected

Lost Musings of William Stark

I recently stumbled across some gems from the late great William Stark...I will share them with my loyal readers when the mood strikes me.

Shadows aint what they used to be
Sun shines through where it shouldn't be
I wish they'd warn us before they flee
But life is costly and death is free

Cacophony of memories shatter the silence
On streets that fight for each breath
That deafening sound of emptiness
The last bus has already left

Ghosts peer through the windows at me
Their replacements just line the platform
This cattle car rolls through unfolding hills
Steamrolling to the edge of the world

Empty taverns packed with promise
reflections of what might have been
Tavern keepers born in the aftermath
Never knew what should have been

Donzo Visits Blog ! Mayor calls for Holiday

Well it is true friends….not only did we have a visitor to our Blog, but he left a comment. An Historic Event for Sure……the Great Donzo of Middletwon New jersey has visited the blog and left behind his comments on Montreal to live forever in cyberspace………….Mayor Elect Skwigglyhead Of Middletown has declared this to be an unpaid Holiday for all members of the township.

New Hampshire Revisited

A.P. Wire 04:33 01/10/08 zuluu

In a bizarre twist to the normal caucus routine, Team "Gato 4 for El presidente~" has reversed course and once again gone against the traditional tide in this wacky campaign. As the Likes of Hillary and Johnny Mac moved on towards the Maze and Blue of the Michigan primary , Team Gato remained behind in Dixville Notch to quiz local voters. Having suffered another resounding defeat and still looking for their "first" vote , the Gato del Sol faithful chose to visit the Pubs of New Hampshire in an attempt to lure Unsupportive Voters into a fistfight. "If we could not convince them to vote for our candidate yesterday , then today we are just gonna beat the piss out of them and make them buy a few rounds of drinks" one obviously inebriated member of the Cats Crew was overheard to mumble to nobody in particular outside of the Moose ears Pub. " We have to remind these New Hampshire fagolias that we will be back come November , and unless they want their tires slashed and noses broken, they better wisen up when they go behind the curtain next time". An obviously perturbed, and drunk, Candidate, Gato himself chalked this up to a good idea run afoul…."My campaign team was simply implementing some basic management building exercises that we learnt from Joe barra……our guys may have been a little overzealous……but we did manage to drink for free all day and most of the night". Hillary Rotten Clinton refused to comment to an AP request for a comment on this unique strategy to canvass votes. John Mccain was too busy throwing darts at a photo of Osamma Obamma to take notice.

WHICH Mac is Back ? yikes!

Well we did not fair so well in the Great State of New hampshire, but our good friend John Mccain did very well…….I blame my poor showing on my state of confusion. Early in the Day I heard some local yocals outside my Hotels shouting "Mac is Back"……..Naturally I assumed that meant the Great Steve Mcevoy had returned to the beloved bottle….Imagine my excitement when I thought Cracker Jack was back on the Winning Team……….Had found his way Home through the lonesome Dark Valley of fear after all these missed beers…and years…..I even thought I heard some incoherently blabbering in the distance…".Hillary…I don't wanna kill ya, but I have to kill ya." I was getting ready to stock up on Vodka and Gatorade and some Bob Dylan 8 tracks for the return of Mcadoo………folks were putting in for family Leave from their Jobs and disconnecting their land lines…….the Take No Prisoners Tour 2008 was taking shape….Dano Woods was being tracked down for the Magnanimous Event…..Eggroll was shaking in his slippers….if Mac Falls , can Das Das be far behind ?

I was well into an 8 hour stupor when I learned of my Faux pas………Turns out the excitement was about John Mccain and a resounding Victory....good for me drinking buddy, but damn……so close……and yet no bar…….a double dose of letdown soon followed when the disturbing events that unfolded in the Gulf were relayed to me as I sipped on my 21st Coors Light of the Day…..Why Didn't the Men of the USS Hopper open fire on those Iranian s**mba*s in their lil speedboats……This Country needs someone who is strong on Defence…….and who I ask is stronger on the fence that my Pal Gravey when she is hunting squirrel?

That seetles it…….just 6 more Silver Bullets tonight and then early to bed….I have some important thinking to do

One Bachelor Party at a Time Please

I can not spend any time worrying about a trip north of the border that may or may not happen ............until AFTER the Big Bachelor Party in Atlantic City .....interested Skaters should contact one Chaz Higgins AKA the Head Linesman for details........please don't invite CHICO , he has a problem with Too many people.

Vice President Runs for the Hills

It is kind fo silly I suppose to state that a Ghost vanished, but that is exactly what happened.
Perhaps the stress of the Campaign was too much, or the lure of Canada was overwhelming, but whatever it was , the fact of the matter is that my Vice President, the Ghost of BARBARO, has bolted the Campaign and dissappeared into the New Hampshire Night. ( Maybe the Great Barbaro is on a Montreal Scouting mission, haunting Wicked Wandas as we speak, galloping down the Halls of the Hotel Maritime, enjoying Oats&Eggs at the Piel Street……who amongst us really knows for sure)

I did not see this coming , in my drunken Haze of a Dixville Notch Bender I now find myself searching for a new Running mate…….interested applicants should email their resumes to sn2ktomcat@yahoo.com the sooner the better……..please list all qualifications………likes/dislikes………favorite band……..criminal record…….favorite Hockey Team……you know….the essentials…….whether or Not you would be willing to deliver a keynote address at Sweater Night Ten……and of course if you will support the Great Arthurs Boycott of 2008…………..female applicants should send a photo of yourself in a bikini please.

Gorilla Montreal trip in DOUBT

as the geust of honor continues to ceceede from the Union and form a solitary alliance, the Great Montreal Trip of 08 is in doubt......skaters on both sides of the blueline shook their heads in disgust and dirty politics ruled the day on Sunday, the resending of "conficential" texts to the subject matters brought us to a new low.........the public voicing of private concerns surely was a SOUR attempt to drive a wedge between lifelong friends......et tu brute' ?? how sad.

New Hampshire Caucus

Well we roared into New Hampshire like a pack of hungry wolves, frothing at the mouth and dying of thirst…..Our Campaign train was packed with Whiskey , Beer and Mushrooms, but sadly turnout at our first rally was sparce…….Barbaros Ghost is getting Antsy, not sure if the Great Stallion was a wise choice after all…..it's hard to tame a wild Spirit, especially one with his Energy, I may have to sit down with my braintrust and consider making a swift change of direction.

Thankfully we found a Pub in Ol Dixville Notch that was showing the Giants-Tampa Game……. Go Big Blue, on to Dallas we shall go….after taking care of business at the Polls here of Course.......

IOWA Caucus

Well sad to say we did not receive a single vote in Iowa, but that will not stop my campaign. I think perhaps the Hawkeyes were spooked by the fact the my running Mate is the Ghost of Barbaro, maybe they are intimidated to be in the presence of Greatness in the form of a Kentuky Derby Winning Spirit. Maybe they do not approve of the Irish Equine Ticket , or Maybe they just can't imagine what turmoil would follow if my Vice President had to assume the top Role….assuming I was assinated while in Office….can you imagine the oil painting of Barbaro's Ghost hanging in the White House ?

Anyway it's on to New Hampshire fur guys like me and Mccain…..where we shall engage the enemy at every Bar, tavern or Pub we can find…….

Remember Friends and foe alike……VOTE GATO 4 El Presidente'

quotes

Beautiful Monmouth Park

Craig Paz asked me to pass along to our faithful Readers that the PC's annual Monmouth Park Trip is slated for Saturday the 14th Day of June.....hmmmm? what else occured on this historic Date ?

In the United States, Flag Day (more formally, National Flag Day) is celebrated on June 14. It commemorates the adoption of the flag of the United States, which happened that day by resolution of the Second Continental Congress in 1777.

In 1916, President Woodrow Wilson issued a proclamation that officially established June 14 as Flag Day; in August 1949, National Flag Day was established by an Act of Congress.

Flag Day is not an official federal holiday, though on June 14, 1937 Pennsylvania became the first (and only) U.S. state to celebrate Flag Day as a state holiday.

Title 36 Sec. 110 of the US Code is the official statute on Flag Day, however it is at the President's discretion to proclaim officially the observance.

The largest Flag Day parade is held annually in Troy, New York. [1]

Framingham, Massachusetts also holds a yearly Flag Day parade, as do many other towns and cities, although in recent years a shrinking turnout has prompted the town to consider eliminating the event.

What Else ??

Well in 1994 the New York Rangers Defeated the Canucks of Vancouver in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals in the Worlds Most famous Arena......Leetch, Graves and Mess in that order staked the lads to a 3-1 lead , and MR Richter held on to preserve the victory.

Anything Else ???

Funny you should ask, in 1996 , on a balcony of the Molly Pitcher , overlooking the Navesink River, yours truly and Valerie O'Dowd( nee Chamberlain) agreed to become engaged to be wed.

And What Else????

Isn't that enough you ungrateful swine....you try finding a day with that much history wrapped around it.....geeeze.

Anyway , let's race to see who can get polluted first, and to the strongest degree on that day...pass the word....and get on the BUS.