as i went walking.....i saw a sign there

 And on the sign it said "No Trespassing."  But on the other side it didn't say nothing.

That side was made for you and me.  ( Woody Guthrie 1940)

and so this past Thursday i found myself in the battery early in the morning and wandering the "empty, ancient streets too dead for dreaming" (dylan) ....the bars that once served a mixed bag of maniacs from all walks of live, all economic classes, all races or religions or atheists and half breeds, all hours of the day.....well they were closed ....some for good (which is sad) . some refused to open their doors until the "johnny come lately-nearly mid day- hour of 11" ( sadder than sad).....i walked past the front doors of many of Public houses that welcomed me into their Hearths' and Hearts over the past 40 odd years.....some of the buildings themselves had disappeared , others may have well said no tresspassing.....Diamond Jim Brady's....the Blarney on Water...Mcanns.....Mcanns and the other Mcanns......the Pig & Whistle and Volks.....Suspenders....and finally O'Haras.........9:30 i suppose is too early to be drinking in 2020.

And so i walked over to the World Trade Center to stroll the footprints and pay my respects....imagine my shock to find this hallowed piece of land encircled by metal police barriers ( no trespassing).....where i wondered is the entrance.....i walked down Liberty..nothing......walked along West street....nope.....turned up Vesey or maybe now it's the extended Fulton and saw a few Police Officers.....i approached with my mask on my face  and instinctively raised both hands so that they could see i come in peace kemososbbi.....I asked where the entrance was and or if the memorial was closed.....i was assured it was not and was directed to Greenwhich street....before i walked away i realized where i was....so i walked closer to the barrier and paused by the Footprint.....the northeast Corner of Tower 1.......my desk was 16 feet from the northern Wall of the building and pressed against the glass of the eastern window......13 lucky floors above the plaza.....and the global sphere statue that i stared at every single day i worked there......the sphere that was a meeting place for millions........a lunch spot for thousands daily....and ultimately a burial ground for too many........i decided it was time to go in and pause by the name of Tommy Dowd (whom i did not know, but i have his memorial t-shirt) his name ironically is exactly where i said my desk would have been ( hard to imagine or make that up, just some more weird scenes inside the goldmine)....but as i came to the entrance of the Museum and Plaza i found it too was still closed.......I waved down the Aunt Jemima security guard and told her i wasn't going to the Museum ( who the fuck would ever go below ground here ? not me, never again) I was just wanting to walk around the open air plaza memorial and pay my respects in silence, to ask God again to help me make good use of this borrowed time i was living on....to remember some of the friends that died there for no fucking reason........she didn't even answer....just pointed at the sign that said the PLAZA did not open until 12 NOON.........i could go on for hours about why this was wrong or the anger i felt, but i don't think i have to......it speaks for itself...........

as for me ? i walked to Trinity church and stood along the back wall on Trinity Place-Church Street......10:00 a.m. and barely a soul in sight.....i met my drinking companion wand we bought some tall boys and walked through battery park , killing time in the crystal city until the Killarney Rose opened..(i'll post a different time about my long and winding road of drinking in the Killarney Rose for seriously as long as i can remember...i hope she survives this pandemic, when she goes she will take a mountain of memories into the sea with her) ...and that's where we spent the day , quenching our thirst and resting our bones with nary a mention of the memorial being closed.....and that too is what 2020 has become......we block things out, we move things to the back burner , you can't move forward if you are obsessed with looking back.......but we never really forget.....it's always there , just a smidge below the surface.

In the shadow of the steeple I saw my people,
By the relief office I seen my people;
As they stood there hungry, I stood there asking
Is this land made for you and me?