it's been so long since ive been gone

 Another day might be too long for me

Traveling around I've had my fill

Of broken dreams and dirty deals

A concrete jungle surrounding me

Many nights I've slept out in the streets

I paid my dues and I changed my style

Seen hard times, all over now   ( Allan Collins - Ronnie Van Zandt)

it's interesting how some things come full circle......September was once my favorite month....now it's just a painful 30 days of morbid reminders, death anniversaries and tragedies......even the world of sports has robbed me of the joy i used to have ...the nfl, college football, the baseball pennant races have all betrayed us.....i watch....but mainly root for injuries and failure.

How many magical September nights i spent in the Molly Wee , then walking over to the Worlds' most famous arena to see the Grateful Dead, year after year after year....3 night, 6 night and even 10 night runs at MSG.....sometimes taking a weeks vacation and seeing the Dead  6 nights in 7 days....demolishing Brain cells along the way....and now Bob Weir takes to Instagram and Facebook to attack the President of the United Sates and try to influence Deadhaeds to support socialism.......Jerry would be dissapointed, i saw the Dead over 40 years and never felt ostracized because of my politics, profession, race or religion....but sadly that too is vanishing.

next Thursday i plan to return to lower Manhattan for the first time since early March ...not to work....but to drink In Jeremy's and Stone Street, The Killarney Rose too.....but i would be lying if i didnt admit to being very apprehensive.....not for my safety...not because of China Flu....but because i am afraid of what has become of an area i loved with all my heart all my life.....the days of coming of age and working and living and being a contributing member to life in the Center of the Financial world.....i'm bracing myself to be disappointed .....the days after 9/11 were devastating .....the days after Sandy were heartbreaking....but there was never any doubt we would rebuild, bounce back and thrive again.......2020 ? i'm doubtful.

I miss old friends that I once had
Times ain't changed and I'll be glad when I go home