one of THOSE days

ever have one of those days ? i swear certain people are sent into our lives to provoke and annoy.....not the everyday knuckleheads that we all endure, but the occasional jackass you want to strangle.....like we are part of a social experiment and the Good Lord or some Martian Nation is watching us on a video screen to see how we react.

Wednesday was one of them for me.....started bright and early while waitin on the 6:08 train to Hoboken from Little Silver.....Johnny Fatass is standing 5 feet to my left on the platform with his Ginormous Gym bag.....i'm readin the Post minding my own P&Q's ( Pints and Quarts...another expression that will soon be lost to the Euro & Metrics)....and 6:08 turns into 6:10 and the 6:15....then the gates go down alas a train is coming...."is this the 6:08 to Hoboken or the 6:20 to NY ? " he asks ME....who the fuck am i the conductor ? ? ........"no idea" is say "i didn't hear an announcement"........"yeah me neither" he says........ok then why ask me jerkoff?

The train rolls in and the door stops right in front of him....takes him about 15 seconds to get on the train.......annoying........he goes left, so i immediately go right....i already hate this prick and I don't want to see him again for the rest of eternity.

oh....but it wouldn't be a story if it ended there, now would it ? ?

so we get to Hoboken and I start my walk to the light Rail....there is ongoing construction to the walkway, so it is narrow........there is a logjam up ahead....we only have a minute or two to catch our train.....what is the Problem ? ? u guessed it....Johnny Fatass is walking at a snails pace and nobody can get around him because of his bag....i am about ten people behind him. so i give up.......of course the train pulls out about 20 seconds before we get there....on a normal day I would be nice and warm on my lite rail, but today i am stuck waiting on the frozen tundra of the platform for the next train....which OF COURSE is 3 minutes late.

when it finally arrives i wait to see where this jackass is going, he heads to the back of the train so i go forward......just before we pull out of the station, i am sitting there re-reading my Post and as the doors are about to close who comes running down the platform ? changed his mind and now HAS to be in the first car, a social disease this SOB is....now he doesn't sit near me or say a word, but STILL i am seething.....he annoys me to no end.

we get to my stop at Harborside and OF COURSE...he is getting off too...so i go into slowdown mode...just like the sanitation dpt on a snow day, I drag my feet and walk extra slow to let this loathsome creature get further ahead of me......I decide to go into the cafeteria across the street to get another 20oz bucket of Java beans....mmm delicious caffeine will make the world right again....so i go in and make my coffee, contemplate an egg wrap or a muffin, decide against it, just want to pay for my coffee and get to the desk....one last hurdle, the Cashier....one last indignity to suffer before my workday commences, this miscreant is ahead of me in line, and he has his filthy Gym Bag on the counter where other people will eventually place their breakfast items, I can't even look at him, my blood pressure is soaring, i am already thinking about how early i can go to lunch so i can start drinking ......i am staring at the ceiling, patiently waiting.....tick tock, tick tock...what is the holdup? this freako has already paid and received his change, but now he has to rearrange his pockets, put his credit card back, get out his work badge, put away his train pass....blah, blah, blah....all while standing in front of the register...preventing sally Jones from ringing up my CASH purchase....

as i walk to the office after leaving the cafeteria I wonder aloud if there is doubt as to why i have the stress levels I do ,and why I am forced to imbibe ?


if the Good lord was fucking with me, I hope he at least got a chuckle out of it....2 pepcid and 12 Coors Lights later, i too was laughing about it.